he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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