You can't special order awesome
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
