the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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