Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
