We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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