Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
