I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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