We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
