I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
