make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
