All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
