So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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