If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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