I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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