is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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