She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
