it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
