At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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