woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
