We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
