Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
