i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
