The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
