I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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