im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
