; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
