i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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