There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
