i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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