I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
