But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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