Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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