You're my little dorito
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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