I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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