No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
accomplished twins. life is a go
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
