Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
