we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
