Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
