I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
