We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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