HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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