I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
