how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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