my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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