Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
