I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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