You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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