He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
