Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
