I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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