I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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