Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
